Grandma Feil once pointed out the home of someone who had been sick and had taken to always complaining about how difficult it was to go on. She made it very clear that it was embarrassing that the person there took the time to make everyone else feel miserable with her. "Life is a gift that I cherish. I'm not going to do them any good to give them my problems in addition to their own. The best I can do is ask is that people remember me as someone with enthusiasm and not a complainer, " Grandma said. Part of her enthusiasm came from the decision about what life would be like without the brightness of a smile. "Without the feeling that people still loved me, I'd be pretty lost," she said. What she wrote and had printed in the Leisure Village newsletter had a very special optimism about it. It was called Quiet Appreciation. "As I was having breakfast one day recently, I threw a few crumbs and raisins to the birds. They came down from my fir tree and I counted about five species of birds. Then I looked up into the tree and saw something with little colored crosses or stars. They were all colors of the rainbow. As I watched, I realized I was looking at a dewdrop and our sprinklers were on the night before. This little star changed colors as the sun shone on it, then slowly faded away. "Such a beautiful morning, I thought. God gives everything life and color. I'm thankful for each day to still enjoy this world and our dear village," Grandma wrote in the Leisure Village newsletter. Her daily schedule looked like a who's who list of game shows. What's My Line, The Price Is Right, Let's Make A Deal, The Dating Game and the Newlywed Game.But none of this mattered when she had a chance to play canasta, bridge or just visit. On Sunday's she put on her best to go out to St. Thomas Lutheran Church and see a great speaker with a positive message: Pastor Elsted But there was always televsion preacher Dr Robert Schuller. "I don't like televangelists. But this one's different. He's a good man," she said. Dr. Schuller spoke about the positives and lifting yourself up. He never hid behind biblical references. If anyone could help explain her favoirte word: enthusiam, it was Schuller. A positive inspirational speaker, he said that: "any biblical interpretation that assaults and offends our self-esteem is failing us." that we should accentuate the positives, eliminate the negatives, fill up on self-esteem, and pass the message along. He broadcast from an arena-like setting called the Crystal Cathedral, that looked like an updated version of another favorite place of hers: The Great Auditorium At Ocean Grove. When Grandma and Grandpa went to Ocean Grove regularly, they didn't allow cars in on Sundays. Cars had to park outside the gates of the victorian era beachfront community. It was supposed to be a day of quiet contemplation. Like Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, Schuller had cassettes like: "You Can Do It" and Grandma penciled in, "This is my favorite". "Live by the golden rule" Schuller said, "and help self-esteem-impoverished persons to discover their true self-worth." Pictures of their grandchildren, children and all those other special relatives sat in frames atop their television/radio/record player console. When you stopped to look at them, you would no doubt recall some great time in the past. But these were pictures that had been set down in place long ago and not moved. It was like each was an ideal image of a loved one, or ones, memories of a special time, souvenirs of a fair.